“Are you all right?”

Tom looked at Harry’s concerned face in surprise, “What do you mean?”

“You look a little pale.”

“Just tried Neelix’s new delicacy.” lied Tom, who had skipped lunch again. But he had heard enough of the heard enough of the new concoction that he knew his lie was plausible. Harry winced in sympathy. “I’m glad I was busy in engineering and skipped lunch. My the time I got there I’d been forewarned.”

Tom nodded thinking, ‘I don’t deserve to have Harry as a friend, he’s a sweet kid’

“Well,” said Harry, “Gotta go, don’t want to be late for my shift”

“Have fun” Tom called after him. Turning Tom head towards his quarters, he had some time before his shift began. He blinked, the hall swam before his eyes. Carefully he blinked away the dots, trying to get them to form a single picture again. Maybe he should try to eat something. His stomach rebelled at the thought, but he couldn’t fly like this. And Tom wouldn’t let anything interfere with his flying. He had enough replicator rations, he wouldn’t have to brave the mess hall, just order himself some bread, keep it mild and he should be fine.

****

Tom ate the bread without enthusiasm. He had to force it down his throat.

“Do you really think you deserve to be eating that food? Odile used to eat, the other two people you killed used to eat. Until you got to them.”

Tom choked on the bread. The voice was right what right did he have to be alive when he’d killed his best friends and the only woman he’d ever love? FLYING he reminded himself sternly. You have to stay together if you’re going to keep flying. But the voice hadn’t had his full say yet.

“Who’s next? Harry? Will you kill him too? You know you will. You can’t help it. You’re cursed. Anyone who’s foolish enough to care for you is doomed. If you really care about the kid you’ll let him find a better friend. Someone who deserves him.”

No dammit. Not Harry. He couldn’t survive without Harry’s friendship anymore than he could without flying. He wouldn’t hurt him. Harry wouldn’t die because of him. He wouldn’t! Full of angry denial Tom whirled to slam his fist hard into the wall.

Ow. DAMN! Stupid move Tommy-boy he scolded himself. The wall didn’t do anything. You just banged up your fist for no reason. He regarded the bloody appendage with a feeling of detachment. Hmm. Noticeable. Oh yes he’d have to take care of this. Not the Holodoc. No. He’d only sneer. No. He’d take care of it himself. He’d just have to regenerate it.

“Coward. Can’t even take a little pain. Has to regenerate it immediately.”

Sometimes Tom hated the Voice.

Chapter 3