“You’re worthless, you’re nothing, you’re a screw up, you taint everything you touch.” Tom put his hands to his ears to block out the hateful words but couldn’t because they were in his head. Rocking back and forth and trying to hold in the sobs he stared at the wall waiting, praying for the alarm to beep and signal a new day. During the day he could shut up the voice. He could throw himself into work and play. But during the night. In the still hours, he couldn’t his from the truth. “You’re an embarrassment, you’re scum. You don’t deserve to be happy. You deserve to be miserable. You never do anything right. You’re a murderer and a whore.”
His father’s words echoed in his head and he began to repeat them. Tears of shame ran down his face. His father was so wonderful, what had he done to deserve a fuck up like him as a son. Tom loved his father and wished with all his heart he could be good enough to make his father proud of him and love him back. But he didn’t deserve love. He rocked back and forth, repeating all his faults aloud in a hoarse voice. Hoarse from tears, pain and hours of nonstop talking. He lay beneath the covers of his bed. Wishing for the day, and praying to fall asleep. But he knew he wouldn’t.

Chapter 1